Olde English - Blog

owenparsons: dangurewitch: Dance Clubs Are The Worst. An...

Tue, 20 Jul 2010 02:42:00 -0400

dangurewitch:

Dance Clubs Are The Worst. An original dance song about hating dance clubs. Written by me & Sarah, directed by Vince, with damn catchy music written & produced by Jesse Novak. This one comes from a very real place.

This College Humor video features a new original song by Jesse Novak! Or, to reorder that sentence more appropriately — College Humor made a music video for the new Jesse Novak song!

Before you catch Jonathan Sollis (AKA Jonny Famous AKA He Saved...

Wed, 07 Jul 2010 15:07:00 -0400

Before you catch Jonathan Sollis (AKA Jonny Famous AKA He Saved My Life Once) in the exquisite corpse project we all just wrapped, and before you catch The Fat Jew (AKA The King Of Brunch AKA way too many AKAs) tweeting his putrid life away, you can catch them both in the trailer for their show The skinNY.

I love everyone involved, so I’m glad it’s good so I don’t have to lie to my loved ones. (AM I lying?)

Produced by Nick Gallo (graphics editor at The Onion, and associate producer of the movie Big Fan) and with cameos by me (Caleb) and many good friends including members of both The Auctioneers and The London Souls, Leo Fitzpatrick, Baron Von Fancy’s artwork, and a whole gang of pals I’m too linked-out to link-up, you know it’s gonna be hotter than fuego. I mean it is.

- Caleb

Last week, Daniel Tosh featured our seven year-old sketch...

Tue, 22 Jun 2010 03:19:00 -0400

Last week, Daniel Tosh featured our seven year-old sketch “Hello? Fuck!” on his Comedy Central series Tosh.0. Here, in their entirety, are his comments on the sketch.

- Adam

On the Road

Mon, 21 Jun 2010 14:02:12 -0400

iloverap:

Hey y’all,

I’m hitting the road for the next two weeks or so with my lady as we move from NYC to LA. We’ll be posting about our adventures over at Maya, Dave, and The United States of America.

If you need your I Love Rap fix, may I recommend going back to the beginning and checking up on all the classics that you’ve already missed out on!

Otherwise, see you soon.

Should be back by July 7th …

Dave’s on a road trip to LA, and you can follow along!

- Adam

Profiles of the Insecure, Episode 2, directed by Charlie...

Mon, 21 Jun 2010 13:25:49 -0400

Profiles of the Insecure, Episode 2, directed by Charlie Sanders, starring meeeeeee!

-Raphael

Father’s Day Bonus: “Can Susie come out on a...

Mon, 21 Jun 2010 01:45:27 -0400

Father’s Day Bonus: “Can Susie come out on a date?”

This sketch was written by Adam, Dave, Jesse and me over the...

Sun, 20 Jun 2010 15:36:07 -0400

This sketch was written by Adam, Dave, Jesse and me over the course of a couple days. For inspiration we watched songs from the Nightmare Before Christmas, “Poor Unfortunate Souls” from The Little Mermaid, and “Be Prepared” from The Lion King.

This was so much fun to write, we actually ended up with several more verses than we needed. Here are some of the extra stanzas that weren’t quite good enough to make the final cut:

They sure think I’m quite a dunce,
my son and daughter (stupid runts),
but I have saved for years (not months)
and now I’ll cash them all at once!

Look at all these I.O.U.s
Now it’s time to pay their dues
“Any household chore I choose?”
I choose them all! I win! You lose!

This one good for one free hug
I will make him hug a bug!
The bug will be atop a bear,
That will give him quite a scare!

And while he labors doing that
My daughter says she’ll feed the cat,
And the cat that I have found?
The most dangerous one around!

All this could have been prevented
If one gift they had presented.
And if they had really meant it,
I would have been so contented!

But all I got was disrespected!
Cast aside and then neglected.
Well, there’s a lesson to be had:
Never disrespect your dad!

See I’m not a dishonest guy,
But when they do not specify,
I’m forced to make s tricky choice,
And pick what would best fit their voice:

“I owe you one CD machine”
I wonder what “CD” could mean?
Cash dispensing? Car defending?
Cake detecting? Carl defriending?

Now here I have two guarantees:
“Will shut up” and “Will shoot breeze.”
If I request both things I’m owed
I might just see their heads explode!

Now you’ll build me pyramids!
That is why I reared you kids!
Since I’m such a super guy,
Erect a statue ten feet high!

All these coupons signed in pen,
I’ll never have to work again!
All these years I’ve planned and schemed
And now it is time to REDEEM!

-Raphael

This is the first episode of a new video series my friend...

Mon, 14 Jun 2010 20:19:00 -0400

This is the first episode of a new video series my friend Charlie Sanders and I (Raphael) put together called “Profiles of the Insecure.” We’ll post a new video every Monday, with alternating actors; this week’s video features Charlie; next week will be me.

The idea behind this series was: what if instead of worrying about being “viral” or “topical” or “digg-worthy” or “effects-heavy” or “adequate lighting” or “proper video compression” or “second draft” — what if we just made some videos that we thought were funny and threw them up for our friends to see?

You can subscribe to our channel on youtube (do people still do that?) and we’ll be posting our videos on Vimeo also, if that’s more your speed (watch this space).

Enjoy!

Hey everybody! Watch this amazing new series directed by...

Mon, 07 Jun 2010 13:06:00 -0400

Hey everybody! Watch this amazing new series directed by OE’s own Adam Conover and featuring friends of Olde English Jerry Seinfeld and George Costanza!

adamconover:

jerryandgeorge:

Check out all new episodes starting May 27th!

When Jerry Seinfeld and George Costanza asked me to direct their new internet web series, I jumped at the chance. “These guys are television icons,” I thought. “This is going to make my career!”

It wasn’t until the second day of shooting that I realized the project was going dangerously off the rails. The scripts, which had started out pedestrian enough, had grown increasingly bizarre, drifting from confused theological debate to mad rantings about the duo’s imaginary enemies. As the shoot went on, Jerry became increasingly insecure, and started lashing out at the audience whenever one of his “jokes” failed to land. George, already a paranoid and odd man, seemed to devolve before my eyes — his posture became more beast-like, and his trademark patter slowly lost all meaning, until it became little more than a series of random, violent grunts.

By week’s end, a strange, grotesque sexual tension had grown between the two — one minute, they’d be idly caressing each other over the crotches of their acid-washed jeans; the next, they were a riot of flailing limbs, caught in an argument of such outrageous ferocity that a panicked crew member would call 911. Inevitably, ten minutes later, the storm had quieted, and the officer would arrive to find George curled up in Jerry’s arms, cooing softly and nuzzling under the armpit of the comedian’s denim shirt.

Despite everything, it was worth it. In my time with George and Jerry, I learned that without a hint of madness, true art cannot exist; that in the rantings of a lunatic, there is inevitably a hint of the divine. Which is to say, watch this web series: it’s really weird, and I directed it. New episodes every few days.

juliasegal: heatherallen:Ditto. I love Olde English. (via...

Sat, 22 May 2010 21:42:49 -0400

juliasegal:

heatherallen:Ditto.

I love Olde English. (via soy)

Click on this picture to watch a video about the writers of Lost.

One more day to enjoy this sketch, before it becomes irrelevant forever!

Mellowed out cover of O’Doul’s by The Wallings Jr....

Thu, 20 May 2010 10:37:00 -0400

Mellowed out cover of O’Doul’s by The Wallings Jr. I’m a fan.

Original video:

adamconover: If you like comedy and being told it’s illegal to...

Thu, 20 May 2010 10:31:22 -0400

adamconover:

If you like comedy and being told it’s illegal to take photos on the subway, then you’ll love the NYPD Sit Down and Shut Up Variety Hour, a new show I directed at UCB that simulates the experience of watching a sketch show produced by New York police officers. It features some of the funniest writers and performers I’ve had the pleasure of working with, and if you don’t see it you’ll have to appear at a courthouse in Queens at six in the morning and sit on a hard bench for four hours, and after all that we won’t even show up, so the judge will just throw the whole thing out and you’ll have wasted your whole day. So you should probably see this show.

If you’re in New York this Thursday, come to the UCB...

Tue, 11 May 2010 01:31:00 -0400

If you’re in New York this Thursday, come to the UCB Theatre at 6 PM, when Adam Newman and I will be hosting our new show Later Dudes. It’s a late night talk show presented live on the UCB stage — we’ll be doing late-night-style comedy, interviewing two of the funniest comedians in the city, Sean Patton (Late Night with Jimmy Fallon) and Baron Vaughn (Comedy Central’s Awkward Comedy Show, USA’s Facing Kate), and harassing our unpaid intern Riley. It’s going to be fucking great. Hope to see you there!

- Adam

McSweeney's Internet Tendency: Macbeth and Macduff Get Into an Argument Over Semantics.

Fri, 09 Apr 2010 13:34:06 -0400

McSweeney's Internet Tendency: Macbeth and Macduff Get Into an Argument Over Semantics.:

Hey! Are you a gigantic drama nerd or a high school English teacher? If so, you might enjoy this piece I wrote for McSweeney’s.

-Raphael

The Top 6 Obama/Fresh Prince of Bel-Air Videos On YouTube

Mon, 22 Mar 2010 14:51:00 -0400

From worst to best:

#6: The Fresh Prince of Obama

In a way, it’s the worst; in a way, the best. I remember making videos like this way back when and being so pumped about how good they were. It’s that energy and excitement that I know was a part of the making of this that makes me love it even though there are barely any lines that are on beat.

#5: Obama Health Care

This is pretty bad, in reality it’s worse then the last one, but not in a fun way that would sell you on the idea. It uses a mirror effect for the first half of the video then keeps the horizontal axis flipped for no apparent reason for the the rest of it. Also leaving the TV on in the background is a classic rookie mistake. But the rapping is on beat, so it’s got that …

#4: Obama Fresh Prince / Sera Barak Obama el nuevo Principe del Rap?

This one occasionally manages to pull off Obama lip-syncing the original song which is impressive … when it works.

Also available in the crazy annoying Spanish version of the theme song.

#3: Fresh President of the United States

Okay, now this is good. For some reason he over-packs the chorus and just barely ekes out “of the United States”, but overall it’s good. Plus he nails the slightly sped up video that a lot of people forget about.

#2: Obama Fresh Prince / Obama de Bel Air

The only video that includes the picture of the license plate that says “FRESH”, which to me, is pretty essential.

And here’s a Spanish version of the same video with a different Spanish version of the song, which I find baffling. I have a feeling this version may have come before the English version. Crazy old internet.

#1: The Fresh Prince of Bill Ayers

Definitely the best of the bunch. It’s focused, well-written, and based on a nice little pun.

*Bonus Find: An interview of President Obama by Will Smith and an occasionally Rita Repulsa-looking Jada Pinkett Smith.

… And for the insatiable, here are a few more that didn’t even make the list.

Fresh Elect of Obama
The Fresh President

- Dave

onemoretimewithfeeling: Late World with Zach Galifianakis -...

Mon, 15 Mar 2010 18:49:53 -0400

onemoretimewithfeeling:

Late World with Zach Galifianakis - Zach does standup at a preschool

Zach G., before he was famous. (It’s certainly a testament to the man’s considerable talent and popularity that hosting his own late-night comedy show on Vh1 counts as “before he was famous.”)

What I really love about this clip is he doesn’t just do the easy bit of telling a bunch of adult jokes that fly over the kid audience’s heads— of course he does do that a little (how could you resist?) but the majority of this segment is a lesson in knowing your audience and playing to that crowd.

-Raphael

For the final Very Fresh at the UCB Theatre in New York, we...

Thu, 18 Feb 2010 01:48:00 -0500

For the final Very Fresh at the UCB Theatre in New York, we decided to perform some our favorite sketches from the past three years of doing the show. Then, we decided to post the whole thing online! Watch a video of the entire show above, or check out each sketch individually:

Grease

A Big Fat Promotion

Mikhail Shobobolov and Xixs

Paper Planes

What We've Been Up To

Mon, 08 Feb 2010 18:09:00 -0500

Not to put you in one groove, but is Olde English working on anything new? OE is my favorite online sketch group. - pom5

I get this question a lot. Like, a lot a lot. For the record, here’s the answer:

Even though we haven’t put out a new sketch in a few years, we’ve been working constantly the entire time since. We’ve written two half-hour pilot scripts, created numerous “pitch bibles” (i.e., fully worked-out visions for television shows), and written pages upon pages of supporting material. The reason for the shift in focus: After six years of making sketches for the Internet, we decided that it was time to get some material on television or in theaters. Unfortunately, the downside of this approach is that all of the material you produce is designed to be consumed only by a few television and movie executives, rather than by your fans. And when those executives pass — because even if your ideas are good, they’re often still not “what we’re looking for this season” — all of that work ends up being seen by no one. It’s a shitty trade-off — unfortunately, it’s also part of the business.

But: I’m happy to say that for the last few months, we’ve been working on some projects that will one day be seen by, you know, an audience. Currently in production are a cartoon series we’re developing with PUNY (the animators of Akon Calls T-Pain), and a web series based on one of our pilot scripts, entitled “How to Be Alone”. Both are projects we’re very excited about, and with any luck, both will be coming to the web soon.

- Adam

Hey, guys, we got interviewed, for, some thing. (If the embedded...

Sat, 06 Feb 2010 16:49:00 -0500

Hey, guys, we got interviewed, for, some thing. (If the embedded video won’t play, you can watch it here.)

After the interview, Dave followed up with this email: “Gettin’ Jiggy Wit It (and actually the vast majority of Big Willie Style) was produced by The Trackmasters who I kind of hate. Very embarrassing for me.”

THE MORE YOU KNOW.

-Raphael

boringoldraphael: ABOVE: Actors Brian Miskell and Emma Galvin,...

Sat, 23 Jan 2010 18:02:12 -0500

boringoldraphael:

ABOVE: Actors Brian Miskell and Emma Galvin, looking all fucking dramatic, in a play I wrote.

Dear Person Who Reads My Blog,

Okay, I know things have been kind of dead over here for the past few months, and for that I apologize. I have some very good reasons, involving jury duty, and cross-country travel, and my computer crapping out on me all of a sudden for no reason, setting me back over a thousand dollars (and they’re still not even sure they can get all my data back), and also me pretty much being homeless, crashing on my friends’ couches for the past several weeks. But all that’s a story for another time.

The main reason I’ve been too busy to post is that I’ve been working on a play I wrote called The Mike and Morgan Show, a play which opens tomorrow night. This is a play I’ve been working on for a very long time, and I’m thrilled it’s finally receiving its first full production as part of the Great Scot play festival, presented by The Onion and AV Club New York.

I tend to be self-conscious about most of my work, but I’m actually awfully proud of this piece, so take that for what it’s worth. I think this is really special and I think the actors and director are all doing great work and I hope people get a chance to see it. I know there are a lot of people who live in New York who read this blog who don’t know me personally, or maybe know me, but don’t consider me a real friend. It would mean a lot to me if you came out to this show and introduced yourself.

Full details below:

It’s the Mike and Morgan Show! Morgan died, Mike cried, and now, three years later, he wrote her a play about the last night they spent together. Watch Mike and Morgan drive around aimlessly! Thrill as they recall all the things they wanted to say to each other but didn’t because they were so sure there would be other days to say them. Maybe, if Mike concentrates really hard, this time he can save her from drowning (spoiler alert: he can’t). Who doesn’t love spending an evening with old friends? Fun! But sad. But fun!

written by Raphael Bob-Waksberg
directed by Lacy Post
starring Emma Galvin and Brian Miskell

The Mike and Morgan Show is running in rotating rep with two other wonderful plays, The Luck of the Ibis by Jonathan A. Goldberg and You May Be Splendid Now by Dan Moyer, and there are all sorts of great deals if you want to see two shows back to back, or all three.

Tickets are $15 (or $10 with code FACEBOOK) and can be purchased here.

Sat Jan 23, 7pm (The opening night show is immediately followed by a fun party with free tequila, sponsored by… uh, some tequila company, I guess.)
Sun Jan 24, 4pm
Mon Jan 25, 9pm
Tue Jan 26, 7pm
Thu Jan 28, 7pm
Fri Jan 29, 9pm
Sat Jan 30, 7pm (This is the show my dad will be at, in case you want to see my dad)
Sun Jan 31, 4pm

All shows are at:

Access Theatre
380 Broadway, 4th Floor (I hope you like climbing stairs!)
New York, NY 10013
(MAP)

Visit http://www.shelbycompany.org for more information on Great SCoT and Shelby Company, the wonderful theater company who put this festival together.

Again, if you like reading my blog, you will like this play. The Mike and Morgan Show is like all the things you like about my blog, but 80 minutes of it. And none of the bad parts.

Hugs and kisses,
Raphael

Hey New Yorkers — go see Raphael’s terrific play! If you like his work in Olde English, you will like this play too. Plus, it’s your last chance to give Raphael a hug before he leaves for LA! (He hates hugs, but that just makes it all the more fun to hug him, poor guy.)

- adam