OldeEnglish.org
Dec 2

Things that are great about this video:

  • 0:04 - The old white people celebrating Obama’s victory with a mildly enthusiastic wine toast
  • 0:08 - My Obama plate has a first name.  It’s H-I-S-T-O-R-I-C  V-I-C-T-O-R-Y  T-M.
  • 0:12 - This guy looks at his Obama plate for inspiration!?  What is he writing?  An Obama plate review?
  • 0:17 - The narrator tells us that we will be inspired by the Obama plate’s “confident smile and kind eyes.”
  • 0:19 - They feel the need to have text on screen that says “Inspiration to us all.”
  • 0:23 - They describe their dumb plate which they sell for $19.99 on the TV as “a priceless work of art.”
  • 0:32 - Fine porcelain.  Like a toilet!
  • 0:45 - The American Historic Society.  Sounds classy.  Here’s a link to the BetterBusinessBureau’s page on them where you can read about how they’ve filed for bankruptcy, charged customers for items they never bought, and how their name is just an alias for the company, National Consumer Marketing.
  • 0:47 - Instead of waiting for the full tallies to come in on the election, they went to print so that your commemorative plate will be permanently emblazoned with out of date information like the 27 “Undetermined” electoral votes that they’re sure you’ll want to remember forever.
  • 0:52 - You’re gonna be happy you have that certificate of authenticity when your friends try to front like “No way is that a real Obama Plate” and you’ll be like “BAM!” and they’ll be like “Woah!” and you’ll be like “Get out of my house!”  At least that’s what I’d do.
  • 0:58 - Apparently the plate is tiny.
  • 1:10 - So after 65 straight days of printing these pieces of crap history, they’re going to stop and then throw away the left over dye.  How noble!
  • 1:16 - I guarantee that they’ll let you buy as many fucking plates as you want.
  • 1:17 - This is not a real family.  Chances are they don’t know each other.
  • 1:30 - Yes you can…bastardize the sentiment of the man you’re trying to honor!
  • 1:31 - I wonder what happened to that guy who was writing about the plate?  What? He’s doing the same thing he was before?  Thanks for the update commercial!
  • 1:41 - $19.99?  Is anyone else surprised they didn’t try to weasel a few more cents out of us and charge $20.08.  You know, to be patriotic or something.

-dave

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